Burnout

My posts came to a screeching halt there for a little bit.

“Oh no, he’s flaky!”

No. I was just hit by a figurative one-two punch. So before I tell my story, let me tell you a little about suffering burnout as an autistic person.

“Tim, everyone can hit a rough patch every now and then. You can get past this!”

Oh boy, the good ol’ “rub dirt in the wound” statement. I will tell you right now that autistic people encounter the same things as non-autistic people. But, they just don’t process things the same way. It’s a fact of life that doesn’t change.

For anyone, burnout happens whenever you are able to do self-care less and less, until you can’t do it at all. At some point, the dam overflows and you just can’t take it anymore. For most people, you can avoid this by watching a good TV show, having a good meal, or go out for an evening on the town. For autistic people, it may not be that easy. One of the toughest things is, for many autistic people, the ability to explain the burnout to someone else might have gone away. Since talking is a good therapy for anyone, you can see how that would throw a wrench in the works.

So for me, that burnout happened last month. After it was suggested to me to play hooky the next day, my good sense took leave and I did just that. It was good for me to live life on my terms for a day. Among all the possible fixes, that was the best relief valve available to me.

Unfortunately, flu came knocking at the door within a few days of that. I haven’t had a flu shot since public school. I also haven’t had the flu since public school. So it was a sock in the mouth to be hit with it.

I was the first person in the family to get it. I wasn’t the last.

I also was dealing with my web host not keeping my website up regularly. They were in Houston, and so I don’t know if their troubles had anything to do with the extreme weather suffered there, but I was done. So I had to shop for a new host, get things transferred, and make sure things were working.

In among all of this, I was still having problems with the effects of my burnout. I had lost the ability to put anything on paper. No blogs. No novel. Diminished social media posting. I just had nothing.


Also published on Medium.